8.19.2012

The Goods and the Bads of Life; We All Have Both

* Prepare yourself for some ups and downs {well, mostly downs} throughout this post. *

While most of you were probably out and about doing the usual Thursday things everyone does, I spent most of my day {10 hours to be exact} at a care center holding the hand of my great grandma. 

If you ever have the opportunity to go see a loved one who only has a few years left, never turn it down. There is nothing like crying because of regret. I had so many opportunities. . .

There is also nothing like sitting at a care center until midnight next to a being that you feel so much love for, knowing you're going to lose them at any second.

It was hard to leave, but I had to come back home on Friday to cheer on my fellow Bruins. We lost to Mountain Crest, but I still believe in them. I mean , it was only a pre season game. 

Being the fighter my great grandma was, she was still there when I went back for 3 hours Saturday night. Although she was there, she hadn't talked all day, and also had a fever of 103.7 when I got there.    A nurse who was close to my grandma would always sing to her when she was the one caring for her. She had come in on Saturday and after she was done singing to her she said, "I'll see you in the morning, Maxine!" That was when my grandma finally said something. "No." That one little word. That's when everyone kind of understood. It was happening that night. Leaving the care center at about midnight, I was SO frustrated. All of the great-grandkids were being hauled off. The nurses gave her something that would get rid of her now 102.9 fever. It is very common that when someone as fragile as my grandma was given this medicine, they would pass away once it wore off. 

None of the adults would let me stay. They were all talking about how 'when you see someone actually die, it all you remember about them' blah blah blah. Little did they know,

It's all I wanted

I didn't have many memories as it was. I'm a big girl and I had already come to terms with her passing. And most importantly,

I wasn't them.

Just because that's all they remember, doesn't mean that's all I would.



Maxine Taylor passed away Sunday August 19th, at 2:20 a.m.

Like I said, I've come to terms with her passing. But, I still miss her so much.



We all ate dinner as a family today, in remembrance of her. 





Releasing emotion, leaving memories, sending love. RIP Grandma Taylor. <3



XOXO,
Halli



WEAR IT FIERCE

1 comment:

  1. Halli. this just made me cry. it was such a beautiful post. you are so mature and such an amazing example. I'm sorry for your lose. she looked like such a sweetheart. I hope you are feeling alright. let me know if you need anything!:) Love you girl!!

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